Getting dragged into an intense game of Trobriand Cricket:

The Trobriand Islands are an isolated group of picture-perfect palm-fringed islands that lie in an expanse of blue tropical water called Milne Bay off the East coast of Papua New Guinea. Their isolation from the rest of the world has seen a completely unique language and culture develop that is still fiercely held onto today. The Island’s occasional exposure to influences of the outside world throughout history, mostly during visits from missionaries in the early 1900’s and throughout the Second World War, has seen some pretty interesting adaptations of practices and games that we might take for granted back at home. One of which, is our much-loved game called ‘Cricket’.

Our first exposure to this hilarious local pastime came during a filming trip to the ‘Trobes’ a couple of years ago.

After being made the guests of honor to a beautiful display of local costume and dance, Tim and I were literally dragged off by a group of topless island girls into a large circle of between 10 and 15 more topless island girls, two of which were holding large chunks of driftwood and one with a coconut in hand. We were about to play our first, at until now, our last game of ‘Trobriand Cricket’.

The rules are in essence the same as the cricket we know – there is a bat and ball, you have to hit the ball and make your runs, but that is where the similarities stop. Apart from us ‘Dim-Dims’ (as us foreigners are known) the entire game was a girls-only affair and clothing was nothing more than a grass skirt for each. Before taking to the pitch, Tim and I were fed an obligatory chunk of ‘beetle-nut’ which instantly made our heads spin, our mouths turn blood-red and sweat pour from our brows. We were then handed a length of wood each, which was to be our bat, and without warning, the ‘bowler’ simply started throwing her coconut at us!

After a few air-swings we finally did manage to connect with the coconut and make a few runs, however while making the dash to the opposite stump, which was no more than a stick in the ground, it turned out to be free-game for just about anyone in our vicinity to trip us over or tackle us to prevent our making any runs, and when we were inevitably caught out at one point, palm fronds were brought into the circle and everyone on the pitch started singing and chanting in a circle, moving closer and closer into the middle where we were standing like stunned mullets, confused and a little bit concerned.

When the chanting circle closed in on us completely, the women then proceeded to ‘mosh’ with us, jumping around and ripping at our clothes (which, I forgot to mention, consisted of no more than a banana-bark loin-cloth and a pair of arm-bands). The moshing continued for a few awkward minutes, and when the relatively aggressive female ‘cricketers’ thought we had learned our lesson for getting caught out, they dispersed, leaving us half-naked, clutching at our destroyed loin-cloths in front of the entire island’s population who were laughing hysterically at the stunned look on our faces. And that…. was pretty much the end of the game.

I seriously love to see a place that has managed to dodge the tainting influences of the outside world to any degree. The Trobriand Islands are a picture of true paradise and to see the locals still holding true to their traditions while holding on to the ‘fun’ parts that the outside has brought in is great to see. I could just imagine the early missionaries to the Trobes rolling in their graves to see the Islanders still playing Cricket Topless!

The best time to visit/do it

It’s hard to say when the best time to play Trobriand Cricket is, because the islanders will simply spark up a game whenever they feel like it, so I guess you just have to be in the right place at the right time.. Or if you value your dignity to any degree, maybe you should just stay well clear of this sport all together.

How you get there

You can fly to Kiriwina Island in the Trobes from the Town Alotau, on the East coast of PNG. Then try to score a lift to one of the only places you can actually stay on the islands called ‘Butia Lodge’. Ask for Rod or Sarah Clarke (say we sent you!)

Chicken smuggling in Ethiopia [believe it or not - a true story]

Funniest Experience (one of many): Successfully smuggling a live chicken into the Hilton Hotel, Addis Abbaba, Ethiopia (and keeping it overnight) [this was not just for fun… there’s actually a reason behind this!]

On a recent trip filming around Ethiopia we spent one week in the country touring around - up to Lalibela in the north and to the Lakes District in the south. We had conveniently timed our trip at the end of September, which on the Ethiopian Calendar is their New Year. For the New Years Day we had to provide a gift for our guide, Yared, who was to have us over to his house for lunch on October 1, New Years Day.

On our drive back to the capital, Addis Ababba, on New Years Eve, Tim.C decided that it would be a good idea to bring a live chicken along with us as a gift for Yareds’ family…. A good idea at the time perhaps – but had he thought this through? Sure it could make a hilarious storyline for our program, but we we’re going to have to take care of ‘Dora’ (the name we later gave to our feathery creature) for a whole night!... And you never guess where we were staying: the high-security Hilton Hotel.

Getting the chicken was easy - stop off on the side of the road where many of the locals are standing there - arms stretched, chickens in hand. Bargain our way down for the cheapest price; put it in the car and drive off.

Next stop, the gates of the Hilton: Cameras on record; Dora under arm covered by Tims’ T-shirt and game-face on, we strut our way into the hotel and are faced with our first hurdle – 2 armed guards for security, cameras everywhere and an X-ray scanning machine. Head down, we fumble with our belongs; are told to turn our cameras off (but leave them on anyway), distract the guards with our cumbersome tripod and squeeze through… How did they not notice Dora? Luckily for us, there was not a peep from her.

Straight into the lift and straight upstairs to our room and Dora was safe…Phew! A quick break; some ‘vegetarian’ room service from the bar and she seemed right at home on the balcony with her lettuce, tomato and water - Still not a sound from her! Semi confident that she would be fine we grabbed our cameras, locked the door and went out to film the New Years Eve celebrations in Addis.

1am we arrive back to the hotel after a busy night filming and all seemed to be in order - Dora was still alive, sleeping on the balcony, and not a sound– perfect! Bedtime for us.

4am: “Cockadoodledoo!!” As loud as ever!... “No! - Doras awake!” Cameras on record and straight to the balcony… The guards we’d snuck past before are walking around with rifles, climbing on the roof of the hotel trying to find this noise that would have certainly woken up our side of the hotel. They were angry, really angry! Stressing & nervous, and knowing that we had semi-done the wrong thing we put a town over Dora, picked her up and put her in the bath, closed the shower curtain, turned off the light and shut the door. Hopefully she would still think it is still night-time and not wake up.

Every ten minutes for the next three hours of our now fairly sleepless night, Dora would start her calling… there was a definite “shhh Dora…. Shut up!” constantly from us.

8am: Time for New Years Day. Shower with Dora, clean up the all the feathers, poop, lettuce & tomato, smuggle her back out of the hotel… (of course making sure the guards wouldn’t catch us) ; straight into the car & straight to lunch. Phew!

Four Ethiopian coffees later, a couple of hours driving and we arrive at Yared’s house. Dora was greatly appreciated by Yared’s family, especially his son, and as far as we know Dora still alive to this day. Whether this will make the latest edit of our travel program is still to be decided. One thing is for sure though, it makes a pretty funny story!

Travel Notes: Addis Abbaba is the Capital of Ethiopia – Ethiopian Airlines has regular flights from neighbouring African countries, as well as Dubai. Ethiopia is well known for its friendly people, the birthplace of Coffee, Christianity … oh yeah, and some pretty lively chickens!