Getting dragged into an intense game of Trobriand Cricket:

The Trobriand Islands are an isolated group of picture-perfect palm-fringed islands that lie in an expanse of blue tropical water called Milne Bay off the East coast of Papua New Guinea. Their isolation from the rest of the world has seen a completely unique language and culture develop that is still fiercely held onto today. The Island’s occasional exposure to influences of the outside world throughout history, mostly during visits from missionaries in the early 1900’s and throughout the Second World War, has seen some pretty interesting adaptations of practices and games that we might take for granted back at home. One of which, is our much-loved game called ‘Cricket’.

Our first exposure to this hilarious local pastime came during a filming trip to the ‘Trobes’ a couple of years ago.

After being made the guests of honor to a beautiful display of local costume and dance, Tim and I were literally dragged off by a group of topless island girls into a large circle of between 10 and 15 more topless island girls, two of which were holding large chunks of driftwood and one with a coconut in hand. We were about to play our first, at until now, our last game of ‘Trobriand Cricket’.

The rules are in essence the same as the cricket we know – there is a bat and ball, you have to hit the ball and make your runs, but that is where the similarities stop. Apart from us ‘Dim-Dims’ (as us foreigners are known) the entire game was a girls-only affair and clothing was nothing more than a grass skirt for each. Before taking to the pitch, Tim and I were fed an obligatory chunk of ‘beetle-nut’ which instantly made our heads spin, our mouths turn blood-red and sweat pour from our brows. We were then handed a length of wood each, which was to be our bat, and without warning, the ‘bowler’ simply started throwing her coconut at us!

After a few air-swings we finally did manage to connect with the coconut and make a few runs, however while making the dash to the opposite stump, which was no more than a stick in the ground, it turned out to be free-game for just about anyone in our vicinity to trip us over or tackle us to prevent our making any runs, and when we were inevitably caught out at one point, palm fronds were brought into the circle and everyone on the pitch started singing and chanting in a circle, moving closer and closer into the middle where we were standing like stunned mullets, confused and a little bit concerned.

When the chanting circle closed in on us completely, the women then proceeded to ‘mosh’ with us, jumping around and ripping at our clothes (which, I forgot to mention, consisted of no more than a banana-bark loin-cloth and a pair of arm-bands). The moshing continued for a few awkward minutes, and when the relatively aggressive female ‘cricketers’ thought we had learned our lesson for getting caught out, they dispersed, leaving us half-naked, clutching at our destroyed loin-cloths in front of the entire island’s population who were laughing hysterically at the stunned look on our faces. And that…. was pretty much the end of the game.

I seriously love to see a place that has managed to dodge the tainting influences of the outside world to any degree. The Trobriand Islands are a picture of true paradise and to see the locals still holding true to their traditions while holding on to the ‘fun’ parts that the outside has brought in is great to see. I could just imagine the early missionaries to the Trobes rolling in their graves to see the Islanders still playing Cricket Topless!

The best time to visit/do it

It’s hard to say when the best time to play Trobriand Cricket is, because the islanders will simply spark up a game whenever they feel like it, so I guess you just have to be in the right place at the right time.. Or if you value your dignity to any degree, maybe you should just stay well clear of this sport all together.

How you get there

You can fly to Kiriwina Island in the Trobes from the Town Alotau, on the East coast of PNG. Then try to score a lift to one of the only places you can actually stay on the islands called ‘Butia Lodge’. Ask for Rod or Sarah Clarke (say we sent you!)